


disaster's my middle name.

by hisburningstar (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: But otherwise there's nothing really NSFW here., Honestly?, I just wanted to make people laugh with this and I hope I succeeded. . ., M/M, The Jaith is pretty one-sided!, There's a lot of embarrassment in this, There's some mention of mating/breeding here too BTW, Voltron Season 8 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 05:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16759243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hisburningstar
Summary: Shiro understands more than anyone about wanting a second chance with an old flame, but after realizing his feelings, he refuses to allow James and Keith to have that second chance. Not after everything.(or: Keith dresses as a woman in order to rescue Shiro from being courted by another woman, and Shiro knows he doesn't want anyone else.)





	disaster's my middle name.

Shiro’d forgotten how much he loathed gatherings. Whether for diplomatic purposes or otherwise, he loathed them. Often expected to plaster on his charismatic front for the sake of maintaining alliances, or for something more vain, such as keeping up a reputation he never wished to have from the beginning, these things drained the life out of him. No amount of liquor was going to save him from this terrible, horrible nightmare unfolding before him.

He understood he was attractive, yes, and he also understood that he was believed to be a powerful man. He should make it clear he had. . . other taste in terms of who he’d prefer to date, but it appeared this woman before him wasn’t going to take ‘no‘ as an answer. 

And then came the conversation he feared would happen. _Mating_.

This woman came from a planet galaxies away where they had strict gender association rules about their men challenging their women in any way, which left Shiro utterly powerless in a situation in which this woman, who might he add was also their worshipped goddess, was close to nabbing him all for herself. He was single and he was available. How he’d allowed those tidbits of information about himself slip, he hadn’t known, but he dearly wished sometimes that he wasn’t as polite and as tactful as he often was. 

Oh, for fuck’s sake. . . now what was she on about? He kept his perfect smile on his face as she spoke up again. He hated that he had no choice but to be submissive. Had it been up to him (as he was often used to the idea) he would have simply walked away. He couldn’t risk anything to compromise the alliance he had with this rather powerful planet and their species, though.

“Oh, Admiral Shirogane, don’t be shy. Have another drink, on the house!” Her drawl reminded him of a 1940’s movie temptress, and he wanted to scream. This was a nightmare. This was an absolute _nightmare_. “After all, we will soon be announcing our official _engagement_!”

_Engagement!?_

Now this was stepping a little too far over the line. He had to find a way out, quick. God, where was his knight and shining armor when he needed him?

“Excuse me!” came a high-pitched voice with a slight edge to it from behind the both of them. “What are you doing with _my_ mate?”

“Excuse me?” the woman’s voice was shrill. “ _Your_ mate? Last I heard, Admiral Shirogane was _completely_ available.”

“Well, I’m afraid he’s _completely_ not so,” the ‘unknown’ voice quipped. That sass felt familiar, and Shiro turned his head to observe the lady. Or should he say _man_ dressed as a lady, which would explain some of the gruffness in their voice. Gruffness. Familiar sass. . . 

The ‘stranger’ had their hair done up in tightened curls framing their face, and their long locks of midnight black finishing off with a glossy, voluminous wave past their shoulders. Their eyes were a familiar shade of blue violet, reminding him of nebulas -- sights to behold. Their makeup gave them a natural pop to their already stunning features. The man wore a surprisingly tasteful periwinkle corset and robe -- a trademark of true royalty. Shiro hadn’t even recognized him. . . 

That was _Keith_. How on Earth -- ? Was he here to save his ass from being betrothed to a lady he’d only met tonight? 

“Admiral Shirogane is not available,” repeated Keith, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. “ _I’m_ his pretty princess.”

As if to prove his point, Keith turned to Shiro, leaning up to press a firm, wet kiss to his cheek, before whipping around to glare back at the lady to warn her to back off. The woman appeared aghast, but Keith was far from caring, true to his personality in spite of his new look. Shiro’s confused expression hadn’t left his face even after Keith dragged him out and away from the disastrous scene.

* * *

“Keith. . .” Shiro breathed out, stunned by the sight before him as he was dragged down the hallway. “ _What_?” 

“There was no other way. If I had come as myself our alliance with their planet would be over.”

Shiro tilted his head. Keith went through all of that trouble. . . but he’d done so for him, so many times before, as well. Shiro had always been curious as to why that was, why Keith went through such great lengths for him. It’d been something that had been nagging at him at the back of his mind for some time now, and it couldn’t be because of the knee-jerk idea he had when he first started thinking of it. He hadn’t once humored the idea of Keith being interested in him, ever since he’d come to realize he may feel that way toward the Black Paladin. He wished it wasn’t so, but Keith was just. . . an amazing person through and through. If only he could continue to push those ideas onto Keith, of how amazing he was. He didn’t seem to want to believe such about himself, even after all of this time.

“Shiro?” 

Shiro snapped back to reality. “I’m sorry, distracted and maybe a bit, ah, tipsy. I really appreciate it, Keith. You have _no_ idea how uncomfortable I was in that situation, not being able to fight back.”

“Lance saw Empress Megh’han getting a bit too cozy for you, then approached me with this ‘foolproof’ plan of getting me dressed in essentially drag to pass as a girl so I could come get and claim you as my mate before things got. . . out of hand.” Keith let out a disbelieving huff. “I guess I actually owe the guy now. Wow, me in debt to Lance. I rue the day.”

Shiro chuckled. “Well, thank you. I know parties aren’t necessarily your place, if you’d like to return to my quarters and have a night to ourselves.”

“They clearly aren’t yours, either, _Admiral_ , but of course, I’d love to.” 

Shiro breathed a sigh of pure relief and joy. He hadn’t been able to get any time with Keith for a long time, as a man married to his duties and Keith, a man now learning to understand true responsibility for himself and for those he led. He couldn’t be more overjoyed, and he could feel that stupid grin plastered on his face. It was probably freaking Keith out a fair amount.

“I. . . I’m sorry. Again, a bit tipsy.”

“Don’t apologize. Lead the way if you can balance, Shiro. Or I’ll help.”

“I think I might need help.”

Keith shook his head up at him, wrapping his arms around his torso. He took easy steps toward the direction of Shiro’s quarters. Shiro felt his face heating up. It was a wonder how he could maintain himself so well around Keith, even when he got handsy so freely with him like this. He hated to admit it, but he loved feeling him all around him. If he had the balls to admit it, he’d go right out and do so, but he didn’t want to risk losing what he had with Keith already. 

Besides, hadn’t Keith, on several occasions, considered him as his brother, his friend? What would be worth losing what kind of intimacy they had already, even if it wasn’t in the way Shiro wanted? 

. . .And since when was it ever about what Shiro wanted, anyway? Even when he had learned it wasn’t always about himself and his dreams, constantly prioritizing his loved ones’ comfort over his own wasn’t necessarily considered especially ‘healthy’, either. . . it was as if no matter which path he chose, everything ended up crashing and burning, and he was often to blame. There was always that talk of finding an appropriate balance, understanding when to chase after what he wanted and when to let things go. . . 

But he knew Keith was one of the things he simply could not survive without, and he wanted to make it known without making things _weird_ between them. 

For all that he knew, Keith likely hadn’t even swung his way. . . got him thinking about what Ezor and Zethrid were hinting at between him and Acxa. . . 

. . .As much as he dared to say that couldn’t be wholly impossible, he knew there was a chance that Keith didn’t feel that way toward him, or toward men in general.

The uncertainty absolutely destroyed him through and through. If only. . . he had an idea of what Keith’s true preferences were, what truly made Keith happy. . . 

“Shiro?” Keith called, causing his head to snap to his direction. “We’re here. You seemed pretty lost there. . . just get some rest. I know you probably don’t want any suspicions as to why two Coalition leaders went off together, so I’m going to head back to the celebration. That’s the last thing you need right now. I’ll. . . check up on you after it’s over. And after I get myself out of this ridiculous crap.” 

Shiro exhaled, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt Keith remove his arms from his torso, and he felt empty. He wanted to scream at him to just stay, that he didn’t care if people started questioning them and reprimand him on why it would even matter, but he chose not to act on his selfish desires this time around. Maybe another time, maybe when he was _certain_ he knew if Keith felt anything like that toward him at all. 

“Thank you, Kei -- “ He was surprised to find he was gone as soon as he looked up again. His head turned in all directions. Keith didn’t waste any time leaving, likely eager to get all of that makeup and uncomfortable outfit off of him. 

With a drop of his shoulders, he retired to his bedroom for a deep slumber.

* * *

Shiro woke up with a splitting ache to his forehead and unable to clarify his own thoughts for a good majority of the morning. He hadn’t even realized he overstepped a bit with all of that liquor he drank the previous night in a vain attempt at keeping himself comfortable as Empress Megh’han continued to court him. Oh, that was easier than usual, to remember everything from the previous night regardless of how much he may have had. Over the few years he’d been able to drink he’d been able to hold it all rather well. . . not without _some_ kinds of consequences, of course.

When the clock struck 06:00 that was his cue to stalk to his office. He could only imagine the work he had to catch up on as a result of him spending most of the previous night drowning in liquor and almost becoming _engaged_ to a woman. 

My God, he still couldn’t believe that almost happened if Keith hadn’t stepped in. 

_Keith!_ Shiro thought to himself. _How was he for the rest of the night. . .?_

His eyes peered over to the bedside table, where he saw a note written in Keith’s trademark chicken-scratch handwriting when he was in a rush. He looked over what it read.

_‘Hey Shiro,_

_You were sound asleep by the time I got back. Hunk and I left some breakfast and a lunch for you before you got back to work. Uh. . . I did the artsy stuff and Hunk did the cooking, naturally. . . .Bon Appétit, as they say?_

_-Keith & Hunk’ _

Oh, now he couldn’t refuse that offer. As exquisite as the Garrison’s cafeteria meals often were, sometimes he preferred to have a little change. He opened his refrigerator and took out the breakfast prepared for him. Three stacked fluffy strawberry waffles, topped with various berries with a bottle of whipped cream and low-sugar syrup, three stripes of bacon cooked to perfection, and two poached eggs sprinkled with salt. He took a moment to enjoy the sight of his favorite breakfast, before heating it up a bit in the microwave. 

When he waltzed over to his espresso machine, he saw a cup had already been prepared. Another note written in Keith’s chicken scratch read, _‘Don’t forget caffeine!_ ’ and Shiro couldn’t help the smile on his face. His team always went out of their way for him, didn’t they? 

But especially Keith. He had a feeling he came up with all of this.

It all led back to _why_. It was always Keith. He couldn’t have done that much for him before, when it was Keith who needed help. He wanted to say a simple act of kindness went a long way. . . but he couldn’t help but start to idealize. . . that perhaps. . . 

_No_ , Shiro reprimanded himself. _You don’t know that. Don’t jump to conclusions._

He took a deep breath and decided to fully enjoy the first _real_ meal he’d had since his return to Earth. He had so much to be grateful for. He had to make a note to compliment the chef and the mastermind behind this perfect meal.

* * *

He didn’t quite understand the events from last night. Perhaps a lot went on behind his back that he wasn’t aware of. . . maybe he quite literally had a giant pink elephant trailing after him wherever he went and he wouldn’t know that himself. Was he always in need of saving? He was genuinely curious over that fact. 

Not that he didn’t appreciate Keith’s and his teammates efforts, particularly Keith’s, or anything of the sort. He just wondered if he should learn to be more. . . alert of his surroundings.

As well as more alert of his own conflicting feelings on a certain Black Paladin.

Though, he wouldn’t necessarily label them as ‘conflicting’ if he was certain his feelings for him were true.

 _It’s not uncommon to feel this way_ , Shiro tried to convince himself, fiddling with a file folder of important information he needed to provide for the next debriefing. That was something he had to be focusing on much harder than on whether his feelings for a friend became something beyond just that. The Admiral had to admit, it was troublesome, not having time to reflect on his own feelings or experiences given what demands came with his title on a day-to-day basis. He had always been aware of that very sacrifice, and he’d hoped to have accepted it as it was by now.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. In spite of the stacks and stacks of agonizing paperwork resting on his lap, and of the blaring sirens in his mind telling him to get these finished by the end of the morning to earn a well-deserved afternoon nap -- a privilege he hadn’t had in _years_ \-- his mind kept floating to a specific person in his life, one whose actions confounded the Admiral on various occasions.

He wanted to understand _why_ , with Keith. He wanted to understand _why_ he hadn’t given up on him just as everyone else in his life had. His parents were out of the picture from a fatal drunk driving accident as a child, not long after his diagnosis, but he saw the defeat in their eyes when he was diagnosed. His grandfather, who had become his legal guardian shortly thereafter the incident, had passed from natural causes before his enrollment in the Garrison; he didn’t even get to see him achieve his dreams. Adam grew tired of Shiro pursuing his fruitless desires instead of spending a life with him, which, in retrospect, Shiro could no longer blame Adam for; he’d come to understand at this point he wasn’t entirely blameless, either, for that dispute. But Adam left, and now he was gone. He couldn’t change the past now, no matter how deeply he wanted to.

 _It’s not uncommon to feel this way_ , Shiro repeated to himself, straightening the stack of finished papers in his hand and placing them in their respective cabinet. He moved onto the next stack. _If that’s the case. . . it shouldn’t be affecting me as much as it is._

There was a vortex of feelings to interpret, a task which was always proven to be rather disastrous, and Shiro took on the challenge, anyway. He felt the answer should be right in front of him, but he never dared played around with the thought. As if someone as beautiful, prodigious, and bright as Keith would _ever_ return such foolish emotions. Keith was meant for greater things than spending his life with someone who hadn’t much to offer. Sure, he kept up an impressive record as a student here himself. Sure, he had a fair amount of people who certainly wouldn’t mind getting in bed with him or even tying the knot such as Adam had.

But beyond the prim and pristine image he maintained for himself at the Garrison, and that superficial, charismatic mask he kept on, keeping others from suspecting anything?

He doubted even carrying on a conversation with him was anywhere near as interesting as watching paint dry.

Subconsciously, Shiro let out a growl, his fingertips digging into the piece of paper he was holding. An ugly, crinkling sound snapped him back to reality, and he saw that he’d near crumped up the sheet. He attempted to smooth the paper back out, filling out the blanks where needed before moving on.

 _Hell, if even something as mind-numbing as morning paperwork has proven to be taxing, I should consider taking the day off._ As ideal as that sounded, Shiro was a man married to his duty as Admiral, and so he reworked his mindset to truly focus. Perhaps he should learn to spend less time in his head and more on refining his lackluster personality, if he planned to catch Keith’s attention in such a way.

. . . Had he truly admitted that to himself?

“. . . Ah.” He felt his heart sink. So, the truth came out. _Strange, how it felt so easy with Adam. But with Keith? The uncertainty is killing me. I won’t pretend I understand him, but how can I know?_

He had been so blind to his own emotions this whole time. He’d felt something blossoming since he returned to Earth and reunited with Keith, but he would have never thought it escalated to… _that_. It might’ve been due to him being too wrapped up In himself, and then. . . promptly vanishing. On that note, he’d give himself a pass, _but_. . . 

What to do, what to do with what he understood about _himself_ , at least.

Admitting to himself that he had fantasies about spending a life together with Keith was _a whole other level_ of absurdity as it was, but admitting that to _Keith_ , at some point, too? He wasn’t sure what he could label that as anything more than _wishful thinking_ , of the foolish, delusional variety.

“. . . I think I’m deserving of some coffee,” he mused out loud, sliding out from his desk and exiting his office. Yes, a quick walk to the commander’s lounge seemed appropriate enough. Might help him get some blood flowing, get himself back on track! Yes, indeed! There would be no thinking of silly romantic fantasies, or sexy, raunchy ones, and most importantly, since he was likely out on Voltron duty, no sign of Ke –

“Hey, Shiro.”

\-- ith.

 _Oh, shit_.

“K -- Keith! I. . . I assumed you were out patrolling with the others, for more of Sendak’s remaining fleets.” Shiro managed to fake his mild surprise upon seeing the Black Paladin _very_ well. He wished the harsh, rapid pounding of his heart would cease, immediately, at that moment, though. God, what was he doing, taking a stroll down this sector of the Garrison? He couldn’t have any other reason unless he was seeking him, specifically.

The thought made his heart almost burst out of his chest.

“We’ve not had any issues for the last few days, so we called it in earlier today,” he explained, his hand smoothing his hair back as he spoke; Keith’s voice dripped like liquid gold from his mouth, and Shiro hated how soothing it sounded to his ears.

“It’s best if we do a thorough sweep, regardless,” Shiro reminded him, as he gestured for him to follow him down the hall. “We still have Haggar to think about.”

“Yeah. . .” Keith trailed off. “But I think the team just really needs time with their families, too, so I let them. A little break won’t hurt anyone.”

“You’ve gone soft.” There was a playful twinkle in his eyes, but his tone was earnest as he continued. “I was told that at the beginning of your leadership, you were a bit rocky, which I expected, but you’ve grown into yourself well, Keith. I’m. . . really proud of you, you know.”

Keith went quiet for a few moments, which unsettled him a bit. Maybe those words that slipped out of his mouth were stepping out of bounds, because they could easily be interpreted as him making a pass on Keith, which was certainly _not_ his intention.

“Thanks,” he answered finally, looking up at him with those gorgeous violet eyes. “I had help.”

“No, Keith. All that growth you went through -- you did that yourself.”

“I wouldn’t have, if I didn’t have someone who believed in me.”

 _Since when was Keith so humble?_ Shiro thought, but allowed it to pass. He was reading into things too much. He shook his head, placing his hand on his shoulder with a soft smile playing on his lips.

“No, Keith,” he said, in a sterner manner. “You have all the drive, you have all the skill, and you have grown into yourself on your own. I’m really proud of you, Keith.”

Keith managed to smile a bit, but it didn’t go to his eyes. _Was something troubling him?_ Perhaps he should avoid addressing the previous night, oh! He hadn’t even thanked Keith for his delightful breakfast and lunch yet. How cruel of him! “Okay.”

“Thank you so much for the breakfast and lunch, Keith,” he quickly added before things got too tense between them. “I was hoping to see you soon so I could personally say so. It’s not lunch time, so I haven’t even opened the bento box yet, but I’m looking forward to the treat if it’s as amazing as my breakfast was and -- “ 

“Shiro, slow down. It’s not a big deal. We all know you’ve been dealing with a lot with. . . everything that’s happened, and the last thing you needed was someone trying to force their way into your heart like that, too.”

“Thank you, Keith. You don’t know how much I appreciate you and the others.”

This time, the smile Keith gave him went to his eyes. _Phew_.

A few steps further, and a refreshing aroma of coffee beans tickled his senses as he entered the lounge alongside Keith. Ah, his heavenly beverage awaited him! It wasn’t much longer, now.

“Geez, old-timer, getting excited about coffee,” Keith snorted from behind him, and his face fell. He hadn’t heard that little jab at him in years. He’d admit it! He did have ‘old people’ taste.

“ _This_ is the true nectar of the Gods,” Shiro huffed, as he poured his little piece of heaven into a Styrofoam travel mug. He felt his smile stretch wide as the smell intoxicated him. “I don’t know what Coran goes on about with Nunvil.”

“I can still vouch for hot cocoa topping coffee, but you’re certainly entitled to your own opinion, _old-timer_.”

Shiro’s throat rumbled with laughter at that. “Whatever you say, Keith. So, did you have some business here?”

Keith was caught off-guard by that comment, and Shiro’s head tilted in concern.

“Oh, no. I was just exploring a little, I guess. I’m also avoiding someone.”

Avoiding someone? . . .Avoiding who? Lance, maybe? He understood he and Lance didn’t exactly get along, so for that, Shiro couldn’t blame him. He was rather unimpressed by Lance himself, but that was another story.

“Oh?”

“. . .Griffin,” Keith admitted, his voice almost squeaking. “I’m avoiding Griffin.”

Ah. Now that had certainly caught Shiro’s interest. Technically, he hadn’t known of what transpired between the two of them as cadets since he took off for Kerberos, and if he was honest, he wasn’t sure if it was his business to know unless Keith felt comfortable enough to share that with him.

It was almost as if Keith was hinting to there having been something _more_ between him and the Ares pilot. A part of Shiro was almost hopeful of that being the case, as weird as it sounded. That meant. . . he had a chance, if the two were over.

“It’s just awkward,” he added, snapping Shiro out of his thoughts again. “It’s just awkward, that’s it. Uh. . .”

There was an unusual amount of tentativeness in his tone, and he caught onto Keith adjusting his posture in a rather uncharacteristic manner, as opposed to his otherwise calm and aloof nature.

“It’s complicated.”

“Ah.” Shiro decided not to press further, believing that he may have the evidence he had been wishing for all along. For as long as he’d known Keith, he wasn’t sure about what he felt around him. Keith had never admitted to any previous crushes, or even old flames, for that matter. It was a shame he didn’t know these things about someone he liked to believe he knew so well. Then again, Keith knew how to keep secrets. That made him both incredibly trustworthy and incredibly dangerous. “Well, I’d offer up my office if you’re fine with being confined in a tight space.”

“As tempting as that offer is. . .” 

Shiro smiled, understanding. Not necessarily on the situation itself, but on the idea of avoiding someone he didn’t wish to associate with whatsoever. “Good luck?”

“Yeah.” Keith then turned away, stalking toward the exit. “I’ll probably see you this evening, then.”

“You’ll be seeing Griffin, then, too.”

“ _Don’t_ ,” The Black Paladin warned. Shiro wondered if Keith thought he understood what he was trying to imply about him and Griffin, but the truth was, Shiro didn’t. Shiro didn’t know what was so bad about Griffin these days. He still had that sense of duty in him, and maybe he was a bit. . . harsh on Hunk when he wanted to search for and save his family. Overall, though, James had shown signs of growth -- just as everyone else had. Shiro vaguely remembered the other Ares pilots from classes he taught, Rizavi, Kinkade, Leifsdottir. . . all four of them were a talented bunch.

He decided not to dwell on it. He would get his answer soon enough. 

Shiro chuckled, waving at him. “All right, Keith. This evening, then.”

The younger flashed a smile before disappearing down the hallway. Shiro almost let out a breath of relief. It was one thing to run into Keith by surprise, and it was going to be a whole other disaster to let Keith stay in his office. Much too close for comfort.

He brought the steaming cup of coffee to his lips, letting it spill onto his tongue and dance upon his taste buds before he gulped the first sip down with a satisfying breath. Ah, that was more like it! He could feel some of his _natural_ self returning to him.

With this little tidbit of information he learned between Griffin and Keith, he thought it to be in his best interest to investigate further on the matter. . .though he was uncertain of who to go to first. He’d have to ponder over that on his way back to his office, since he didn’t have much time to think in between filling out stacks and stacks of those papers.

At least now he would be able to tackle the rest of his _old-timer_ work, uninterrupted. Maybe even enjoy that bento box Hunk and Keith put together for him.

. . .Shouldn’t he be even the slightest bit concerned that Keith still referred to him as _old-timer_? 

* * *

With winter nights they lost the sun for the day before Shiro could leave his office to attend this evening’s scheduled debriefing. Had it been under typical circumstances he wouldn’t have minded the darkness that took them so quickly with the holiday lights and the cheery attitudes from other citizens. But they were still in war, and the darkness felt ominous and sinister, rather than heartwarming and happy. He remembered often joking about how had it not been for the holidays, winter nights would be otherwise depressing. 

But this was on a whole other level of depressing -- depressing wasn’t even the word. The dark only brought on fear.

The meeting went on smoothly, for the most part. Led by himself, Commander Iverson, and of course, Keith, as they explained the latest findings in regards to Haggar’s plans in arriving to Earth in hopes to seek out her ultimate vengeance. There was a brief mention of Haggar likely already being within the premises, as Shiro recalled her having the ability to shapeshift as well as multiply herself. She could be among as they spoke. It wasn’t him who came to that conclusion before, though. It had been Allura, who’d had suspicions on Haggar being Honerva, Emperor Lotor’s mother, all of this time. Much of this information came as a shock to the paladins, but no one had time to ride it out. 

Right then, they had to focus on the matter at hand.

It was only as the meeting came to a close that Shiro had caught onto. . . suspicious activity, and not in the sense that he may have suspected Haggar arrived to the board as someone else.

Keith had been ready to leave, he saw, but had been stopped by Officer Griffin. He immediately sensed tension on Keith’s end, and he was attempting to conceal it around the older (and taller. . .and surprisingly, broader, he failed to acknowledge how Griffin had grown into his own as well). He tried to listen in on what little he could hear from his corner of the room, wondering why Keith would want to avoid Griffin apart from their former, petty rivalry. It seemed unlikely Keith was still holding onto that, considering he was above such ideas now, and so was Griffin. There had to be something he was missing about the two of them.

“Shiro!” called a familiar voice, and his head snapped to the left, finding Matt standing there with his hands on his sides. “Can I ask why you’ve been ogling at your ‘friend’ for the last five minutes?” 

“Ogling? I wasn’t ogling. I was observing,” Shiro hastily responded, his eyes shifting left and right. He knew there was never any fooling a Holt. He’d come to consider them as a real family of his own. . . “Keith just doesn’t look comfortable with Griffin, still.”

Matt almost gawked at him, and Shiro couldn’t have been more confused as to why of all reactions, _that one_.

“You really haven’t a clue, huh?” Matt frowned, tapping his finger against his chin. “I think Rizavi mentioned something about them having been involved in some way, shape, or form. I don’t know if you’d call it a relationship, but Rizavi thinks James still has feelings for Keith, so he’s trying to get him on a date.”

Keith. Griffin. _A date_. Hah, that was the most hilarious thing he’d ever heard. As if it’d ever get that far! James had only ever been a dick to Keith. The reason why things were complicated between them had to be more from James’ side. He was always too quick to make everything a competition between them, and always felt threatened by Keith or anyone around Keith. There was no way.

With that in mind, Shiro gave Matt an incredulous look. “I doubt Keith would put himself in such a position with someone he claims to _loathe_.”

“I don’t know,” Matt responded, peering over Shiro’s shoulder to see Keith appearing surprisingly more at ease around Griffin, scratching the back of his neck as he flushed at something James had said. “He seems to be making himself comfortable. He might give him another chance.”

_Another chance! Flat chance!_

Shiro refused to allow that to happen. There was a deep frown on his face as he contemplated what to do. James had more balls than him to go after what he wanted, which to that, he was willing to give him kudos for, but otherwise? He was _not_ letting James take away _the one person_ who meant the world to him. . .

“You know, if you need some. . .help, they say I’m a _fantastic_ wingman.”

“I. . . I think I might take a pass on that.”

“Why not? Shiiirirooo, you got to let me help you! I mean, you clearly haven’t been able to do anything on your own yet if you’re threatened by _James friggin’ Griffin_.”

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose. Ah, typical Matthew Aiden Holt, always one to push for things when it involved Shiro’s lovelife. He remembered shortly after his breakup with Adam, Matt mentioning something about surprising him in his apartment by strapping himself to the bed clad in nothing else but red lingerie. His face still got red at the idea. 

“Honestly, I’ve always suspected something about you and Keith. Just didn’t think it’d actually happen, you know? Since you’re always caught up in your own business, and Keith’s kind of oblivious to this kind of thing himself. So let me help you! I can help!”

“Matt,” he sighed, peering over at Keith and James, who were both openly laughing at something. It’d been a while since he heard Keith laugh like that. “Okay. . .but don’t make me wear lingerie.” 

“Gasp! I would never.”

* * *

Shiro had no idea what he’d just signed himself up for.

He was already having second thoughts. 

“Come on!” Matt egged him on, prodding him with his finger until Shiro smacked it away with a grumble. “It’s foolproof!”

Foolproof. What was with that word usage, anyway?

Shiro opted not to question it, fidgeting in this rather uncomfortable dress. Unfortunately, he didn’t think he could exactly pass as a girl. . . not that he wanted to, in the beginning. Matt attempted to make it work. His hair was combed back and made to look a bit longer, almost styled like a bob haircut. But it was really to make it easier for his black wig to fit over his head easier. He even wore _eyeliner_ to accentuate his eyes. He never thought he’d ever wear makeup that way. The only issue he had was his scar, but Matt already had this covered. To his surprise, Pidge had his exact skin tone in foundation in a high coverage liquid formula. It hid Shiro’s scar almost perfectly.

He frowned looking in the mirror, though. It was no wonder he didn’t recognize Keith right away as a lady. He could hardly recognize himself as a woman. The finishing touch were the golden studs Pidge had provided for him to use for tonight. 

He couldn’t believe he was posing as Matt and his girlfriend’s _third_.

. . .In his defense, they both knew he absolutely couldn’t go as himself to the very bar James and Keith were going for their date. Yes, you heard right: _date_. Shiro’s worst nightmare had been realized and now he would do anything to keep it from escalating to anything more. No one else other than Takashi Shirogane was going to sweep Keith off of his feet! And that may mean quite literally sweeping Keith off of his feet and dragging him away from the date himself. For all that he knew, Keith probably agreed to that date with James out of pity for the guy. 

“Hey, lookin’ foxy, mama!”

. . .Foxy? 

“Matt,” Shiro felt himself gritting his teeth. “Use _today’s_ slang, if you please.”

“Sorry. I mean to say -- you're looking pretty sexy, man, honestly. wow!”

Shiro felt like his head was about to explode. He also wanted to kill Matt, a quick swipe of an axe through his neck would be perfect.

“Yes, thank you. Now are we leaving? Where’s _your_ girl?” 

“She’s there already and waiting for us. We kind of took an eternity, and she also mentioned in her latest text that James and Keith are already there. She found us a spot not too far off from them.”

 _Yes, perfect. Now he could spy on Keith and make sure he’s all right without being too obvious_. 

“All right.” Shiro tried to sport on his most feminine expression in the mirror. 

He was ready to crash this thing.

* * *

Watching the scene unfold before him was truly far more agonizing than nearly being courted by someone he’d just met. He hated watching Keith actually getting on well with an old flame. Shiro was under the impression that Keith was incredibly uncomfortable with Griffin -- especially after what he had admitted to him about avoiding him when they saw each other earlier that morning. What had changed his mind? Was Keith going through with it? Was Keith going to accept James back? 

He felt like he was going to crash and burn before he could stop this madness. Constantly peering over his menu every so often to watch them while contemplating his order was probably already driving Matt and his girlfriend insane. They were positioned at an appropriate location -- just far enough out of James’ and Keith’s sight but they weren’t out of theirs. He had to hand it to her, for choosing such a brilliant spot.

If only he could actually hear what was being exchanged between them.

“Before you ask, I may have snuck a communication device onto Keith before he went off.” It was as if Matt read his mind, but he felt a bit concerned at the idea of invading Keith’s right to his privacy. 

Speaking as if he was not already doing so by being around the area. . .

Matt handed a similar device he could plug into his ear, and Shiro, though reluctant at first, accepted it. He tried to calm himself before he started to listen in on the conversation from where they were.

 _“You’ve got a little something.”_ Keith’s voice was the first to be heard on the line, sweet and melodic to his ears as always. _“Here, I got it.”_

_“A gentleman, huh? Where’d you learn that one from?”_

_“Shiro taught me.”_ Hearty laughter from both of them at that comment. Shiro flushed. Well, it was better than being addressed as an _old-timer_. . . 

_“No, but you really have. . .changed.” “I should hope so considering I’ve been up in space fighting an alien species for the last three and a half deca -- I mean, years.”_

_“Well, that’s plus another three years for us, but not you. Weird, how that works.”_

_“Yeah. This whole thing is weird. Finding out you’re half-alien is weird -- “_

_“Wait. So that alien woman?” “My mom.”_

_“What!?”_

_“What, you couldn’t see the resemblance?”_

_“Um. . .I could but that assumption felt too out there.”_

_“Right. So. . .look. I know we got off on the wrong foot before. . .I just left. I wanted to say sorry.”_

_“You don’t need to apologize.”_

Shiro was surprised by the fact that it was Keith who burned the bridge, and at the same time, not entirely. He knew Keith always struggled a bit with communication. Definitely not to an unheard of degree, but it often made relationships difficult for him. For all that Shiro knew, he was the first real friendship he had in a long time. And then came Griffin, who was possibly his first serious romantic relationship, if he would dare call it that. He was almost reconsidering on rudely cutting in to sweep him off of his feet. If he really wanted to give himself another chance with Griffin. . . 

“Shiro, you have not said a word about what they’re saying to us. If we’re going to help you, at least let us in on what’s happening.” As always Matt had _appropriate_ timing.

“Keith had just apologized for their falling out, I’d suspect,” Shiro informed, waiting to hear more of their conversation. What he heard next made his heart stop.

_“I want to come back to you, Keith.”_

_“What?”_

_“Why’d you think I asked you out? So we can further discuss more game plans against the Galra? Right.”_

_“. . .James, I -- “_

Nevermind, he was stepping in _right_ this moment. He swore to himself as soon as he caught any sign of Keith being uncomfortable in the situation, he was going to get Keith out of there, and finally, finally sweep him off of his feet. Maybe he’d even get more answers out of Keith about things that have been nagging at him from the beginning. 

“I’ll be right back,” Shiro announced, rising from his seat and placing his menu on the table. “Tell them I want a salad dish. I’m not especially famished tonight.”

Well, he was, but for something else entirely.

“Shiro -- !” Matt cried in a hushed whisper, as he held his girlfriend’s hand. When he saw that he was already too far out of his range, the rebel shrugged before turning to her. “Go get ‘em, I guess?” 

Shiro stalked toward Keith’s table in long, confident strides, puffing out his chest as he sported his intimidating, snake-like appearance, as any temptress interested in stealing their man back from their number one enemy would. Shiro may not be the most superb actor in the world. . . but he was here on a mission and that mission was to get Keith out of there and safe and away from this greasy gremlin.

But he should’ve known better than to be too eager. Keith’s napkin fell off the edge of the table as he tried to form the right response to Griffin’s proposal, and Shiro’s initial plan was to pick it up for him and surprise him with the perfect pick-up line and take him to his room. (Unlike Lance, Shiro liked to believe he had ‘game’.) 

Elegant as ever, he slipped on it right by their table, falling and landing head-first right into Keith’s lap.

“Oh -- ! What the -- !?” Keith shouted, staring down at the person who fell onto him. “Are you all right, uh. . . Miss?” 

“It’s Izumi,” came Shiro’s answer in his more feminine voice. It was a failure, but hopefully more believable than Keith’s voice. “Call me Izumi. Sorry, s-sir, I can be clumsy. . .”

“Don’t I know it,” said the Black Paladin in a hushed whisper -- his tone all too _knowing_. Oh. Oh, no. No, no, no. Keith already caught on? Was Shiro’s acting skills that rusty? Was his getup not believable enough? Well, so much for being a good spy. . . “Excuse us for a minute, James, I know this is a bad time to hold it off, but I’ll come back, okay?” 

James’ shoulders sagged, his expression crestfallen. Shiro saw Keith cringe at that expression. He’d. . . probably been used to letting him down. Shiro was all too familiar with that feeling. “Right. Of course. It’s not a problem at all, Keith! T-take care of that poor girl.”

Well, at least James hadn’t a clue.

* * *

“What?” Keith tapped his foot against the floor, his arms folded over his chest as he scrutinized Shiro. They’d disappeared into a hallway, far enough away from the bar itself. “Taking after me now? You know, I am perfectly capable of handling these things on my own.”

“That’s not -- “ Shiro quickly amended his words -- “I just know you probably aren’t that interested in him like that, so I wanted to just. . . be sure you were fine.”

“I was fine. Shiro, what are you even worried about? The situation before with you was kind of serious and considering circumstances, I had to act fast like that. You know, Empress Megh’han really wanted you as her mate. She thought you two would make the perfect offspring. It was kind of disgusting how she spoke about you like you were nothing other than breeding stock. I was almost tempted to explain to her that was not Earth’s customs, but you know how fickle they are with men trying to control anything they do or say. I kept out of it when I had no choice to, and that should be what you do, too, Shiro.”

“I’m. . . sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just thought. . .” 

“I’m not mad at you!” Keith sighed. “I could never be mad at you, even when I should be. It’s. . .I told you about us. It’s complicated. I made a lot of stupid mistakes in that relationship, and as much as a part of me really wants to do right by him, I know I can’t. Not when I’m a completely different person now with completely different preferences in that department.” Keith shut his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them and continuing. “I was going to let James down _again_. He deserves someone who can treat him better. Besides, there’s someone I want, but I don’t even know if he would ever feel the same way. I gave up on it, but I’m happy with whatever I can get. I’ve waited this long for him and I can wait more.”

Shiro’s breath hitched in his throat. He couldn’t think of anybody off the top of his head, who Keith would be interested in. He was almost a little too hopeful. . . 

“Well, I’m sure whoever he is, would be lucky to have you.” Shiro managed, trying to sound neutral in tone but failing. He knew how hopeful he sounded, and he wondered if Keith had caught on for real after this.

“I’m sure he knows how lucky he is to have me if he went out of his way to disguise himself in order to take me away from a date I didn’t want to be on.”

Oh. 

_Oh_. 

Well, consider him caught red-handed. Shiro felt his lips curve upward, and Keith was smiling back. 

“Anyway, I think I have to go break it to Griffin. I. . . don’t think he’s going to handle it well, so I might need help when he starts with the waterworks.” Keith made a face. “I really don’t do tears.”

“Right,” Shiro replied. “But after that, let’s get out of here so I can take this crap off. How did you deal with this before?”

Keith shrugged. “I actually didn’t mind it too much. I’ll meet you back here, Shiro.”

“Actually, I have to get back to Matt and his girlfriend. Come to my room later?”

Keith looked like he mentally stumbled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

With that, Shiro waved at him as Keith sauntered back off to his table in the bar. He soon followed shortly thereafter, joining Matt and his girlfriend on the table. His salad had been long since ready to eat, and Shiro’s alight expression confounded the couple before him. 

“So?” Matt murmured, drumming his fingers against the edge of the table. “Did I even have to do anything?”

“Nope,” replied the Admiral, taking a bite out of his salad. “Not at all. But thank you, guys, for enduring that.”

Matt hummed in approval, and then came the dreaded question, “That was an impressive dive you took. Did you do that on purpose?”

Shiro’s face nearly fell into his salad bowl. _No, Matt, I’m just clumsy in the right moments._

He held his tongue. Perhaps he was going to finally get them. The answers he’d been seeking about Keith, after all of this time of it nagging at him in the back of his mind. Maybe he’d learn new things, maybe he’d get to know him on a more intimate level. He was excited for whatever tonight may bring. Even if Keith chose to keep a significant chunk of himself to himself for the night, the fact that he’d just admitted something Shiro had only longed to hear for as long as he’d realized his feelings for Keith was enough for him. 

It was his answer for everything. And it would be up to Keith if he wanted to reveal more to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Owari!! I hope you enjoyed this piece! It's my first REAL fic I've written in what feels like an ETERNITY. . . I am honestly really proud of myself! As always, I'm accepting of reviews, feedback, and concrit, but NOT hate. <;3 I know you probably have a lot of questions. There was a lot of areas where it was left open-ended. . . and also this fic was severely unbetaed. Sorry. @-@ 
> 
> Also, quick disclaimer, but I am not very well-versed in drag culture, in spite of having many friends who do it in my real life. Please forgive me if I misinterpret anything, and please feel free to correct me on anything. There's a reason I didn't elaborate too much on it. I feel this would qualify more as crossdressing rather than 'drag', honestly. But please let me know!! 
> 
> Quick shout-out to my loves, [Logan](http://fullmetaldude1.tumblr.com) and [Gale](http://tarnishedluminary.tumblr.com) for helping me come up with this silly little piece I put together in efforts to cheer a dear friend, [Chelsie](http://fluffysheith.tumblr.com). I love you, girl, and I know things can suck sometimes. But I hope you enjoy this silly thing I put together to make you smile at least a bit as soon as you get to see it.


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